Long time listener and fan, first time poster. I haven't been following BSY, but following the recent activity on Twitter I felt I needed to listen to the latest episode.
It can't have been easy to bare your soul. I admire the hell out of you.
I really had no idea. I'd picked up on a few things over the last year, but as little was said openly I made certain assumptions and continued to follow you both on Twitter and your new sites.
I was one of those who'd been staying neutral, because I do love the work you both do. In good conscience, I can't do that any more. The problem with sociopaths is they can be so charming, but once you know the truth, it's like the breaking of a spell.
Stay strong. I wish you all the very best.
When you speak your truth, as difficult as it is, you open the way for others to also speak theirs. You know this from A Year and A Change. Your strength and honesty created an entire community of people, many still remain connected, years later, who care and support each other. This is a direct result of your courage.
I am so sorry that #2 was able to hurt you because of your courage and vulnerability, but I am so happy that you spoke your truth in public, as painful as it is. I hope that you are able to heal and move on, and I believe your capacity to love will be rewarded.
Big Love Lani,
Thank you for sharing this with us. I know this wasn't about us, but I hope you know that you just gave us all a little bit of armor. Like white witch Willow with the axe You can't save us, you can't protect us, but you can help make us stronger.
So thank you
In return for this gift you've given us, I'd like to share this lovely musical homage to Prophesy Girl from bufferingcast. It's a bit melancholy, but also hopeful and cathartic. I hope you can find as much bittersweet joy in it as I do.
Also, if you need some assistance washing the Number 2 out of your love for Buffy, maybe the delightful gals at bufferingcast could help This song is sad, but most of them are just really goddamn fun. (There's one for every episode they've done so far!!)
And I think you'll get that extrovert girl back. She'll be older, wiser, more badass, and probably make better financial decisions I kinda think maybe you already did
Lots of love and just keep fighting
I know I'm late, but I'm just catching up on BSY and these last few episodes have been incredibly moving and powerful.
Lani, I deeply admire your courage and openness. You did what was right.
Kelly, I hope other people have said this before now, maybe on twitter or on discord, but you did try to leave. You didn't voluntarily stay with him, you tried to break up with him and his response was to trap you in your home and literally threaten you at gunpoint.
Please don't blame yourself for what he did to you under threat of murder.
To quote Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery: "The historian Lucy Dawidowicz points out that "complicity" and "cooperation" are terms that apply to situations of free choice. They do not have the same meaning in situations of captivity."
But emotional manipulation, isolation, lies, financial dependence etc can be just as effective as brute force and weapons. To anyone reading this: just because you didn't (couldn't) leave, doesn't make it your fault if you were abused.
Again, thank you both for making this podcast and being so open and honest. It's such a positive force in my life.
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